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When I Say No, I Feel Guilty Manuel J. Smith
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group

We hold a, "No one can do the job as well as I can," mentality. I'm not saying that you should be selfish and never help anybody out. Most mothers are wise enough not to be manipulated by these tantrums. We are nice and do not want to hurt someone's feelings. I have the right to say "I don't understand," without feeling stupid. We enjoy feeling indispensible. So the trick is to figure out how and when to say no. I have the right to say "No," without feeling guilty. I do not have to apologize or give reasons when I say "No." 8. We know we can love our child and say no at the same time. This week alone, when I had to decline the matches, EVERY shadchan asked me why I was saying 'no'. Nor do they feel guilty when they say no to their child. She somehow has a way of cohursing people into doing what she wants; and, makes people feel guilty if they say “no.” I can still feel the dread of giving in and saying, “ok” to whatever she was after. I guess it's mostly because the Shadchan or person whose idea the shidduch was makes us feel guilty for saying no.